The Reason

This blog was started as a way for me to record our, my daughter Luisa and our family's, journey with Amniotic Band Syndrome that presented itself on the head of our sweet daughter. And has turned into a journey of dealing with a fatal prognosis, and the very premature death of our sweet baby. My great hope is that we might be able to help at least someone, if not more, by sharing this experience.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Grouchy Day

Today I have been grouchy. Yesterday I was fabuloso. But not today. It seems that my pattern is every other day. One day I am so great, at peace, happy, and then the next I'm moody, emotional, and not happy. It's as if my inner self goes on strike or something. It can only be strong every other day. I'm still working at being a strong person. So today is my down day. I've been thinking, "Why did I get picked for this challenge? I mean, really. There are several people that I can name off the top of my head that are much stronger than me. I think they could handle it better." But I would not want to give this challenge to anyone. It is really hard. Not something I would have picked for myself or anyone else. I have grown quite a bit though. There have been blessings. I remember those things. But I am still human. So today, I'm grouchy.

Then, I had to take my 18 mo. old, Adrien, to get his flu shot booster. Shots are NEVER fun for us. My boys get VERY dramatic. LOTS of tears and loud crying. So I wasn't looking forward to it to begin with. Then we get to the pediatricians office and the waiting room is literally packed with Mommys and newborns. Oh yay. So I didn't break down into a ball of tears although that is what I felt like doing. But it was hard. Luckily we were the first ones called so I only had to be brave for 10 min. And then I was pulled out of my desire to break down into a ball of tears by Adrien's flu shot drama. And then I decided to buy a yummy treat, just for me. Yes, I am an emotional eater. Chocolate Covered Minty Marshmallows from Trader Joes. It didn't solve any problems but they sure are yummy. I can't wait to try some in hot cocoa.

1 comment:

  1. Oh - the dreaded room full of babies!! It's SO, SO hard. Hugs my sweet friend! And give yourself permission to have grumpy days. You completely have the right and they will help you get to a better place eventually.