The Reason

This blog was started as a way for me to record our, my daughter Luisa and our family's, journey with Amniotic Band Syndrome that presented itself on the head of our sweet daughter. And has turned into a journey of dealing with a fatal prognosis, and the very premature death of our sweet baby. My great hope is that we might be able to help at least someone, if not more, by sharing this experience.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Today

The saddest words that I have ever heard in my life,

" Unfortunately, I cannot see your baby's heartbeat. I am so sorry."

Our sweet baby Luisa has left the way of the earth to be at home with her Heavenly Father. It is the saddest day of my life, but also the most peaceful, if that's possible. I am so sad that my time with her was so short. I am so,so sad that my dear husband did not get any time with her. I am 23 weeks along, but based on her long bone length the doctor believes the death occured around 2 weeks ago. I last felt her about 11 days ago while singing in a performance of Handel's Messiah. It was our first time, mine and Luisa's singing together. Right now I am waiting to hear from the hospital to find out when to come in and deliver her. The longest wait of my life.
As I look over at my 1 1/2 year old, stealing my crackers and cheese and playing with blocks, I am touched by the miracle of child bearing and birth. We take those events for granted, I think, because we have so many perfectly successful pregnancies, and perfectly wonderful children running around this earth. But, I now know that these two events are so miraculous, and should I have more children, I won't take those events for granted. My love to all who have been praying for us, I feel those prayers, they are giving me strength and comfort.
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7 comments:

  1. AmandaDecember 29, 2010 at 8:04 PM

    Oh, Kat. I am so, so sorry.

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  2. JamieDecember 30, 2010 at 8:09 AM

    (((hugz)))

    Jamie

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  3. EmilyDecember 30, 2010 at 5:46 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss, I had no idea what was going on. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. Your family will be in my prayers

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  4. SheriDecember 31, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    I am SO sorry for you loss, and for the heartache you're going through. I went through a similar situation earlier this year, and no one can understand the pain you're feeling. I hope you won't have to wait for too long. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  5. Trish-the ad-match QueenDecember 31, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    Kat, I couldn't help but cry as I read your beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that. You are an amazing, incredible woman and mother. I don't know if I could do what you have done. You're continually in our prayers and we love you!

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  6. AmyJanuary 1, 2011 at 1:19 AM

    I am sooooo sorry. I found your blog through Kara's blog, through Butterfly Mommies. We, too, lost our first daughter, Natalie, due to Acrania from ABS, in 2006. There are no words to say that will be of any good...just sooo sorry. Praying for a peaceful delivery and special time with Luisa. Praying for you.

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  7. ChristineJanuary 2, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    Oh Kat and Brent, I am so sorry for your loss. What an awful thing to hear. It is such a difficult thing to lose a child. May the Lord bring you peace.

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