The Reason

This blog was started as a way for me to record our, my daughter Luisa and our family's, journey with Amniotic Band Syndrome that presented itself on the head of our sweet daughter. And has turned into a journey of dealing with a fatal prognosis, and the very premature death of our sweet baby. My great hope is that we might be able to help at least someone, if not more, by sharing this experience.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

1/1/11

Yesterday, Jan. 1, 2011, 1/1/11, our sweet daughter, Luisa Kathleen was born still. the labor was about 11 hours. An induced vaginal delivery. She was tiny. So very, very tiny. More fetal than infant-like. 7.9 oz, 8 inches, and fitting perfectly in the palm of my hand. The estimated time of death was approximately 2 weeks ago, so her sweet body had already started to shrink and deteriorate. But, I can tell you, that it was still special to hold her tabernacle of flesh and oh, so tender bones, that housed such a beautiful, special spirit. Our journey with her life, diagnosis, and prognosis has just ended, and it was way, way too short. Now our journey with grieving, healing, and moving forward begins. My heart aches, I weep because I love her. But I have peace of mind knowing, and I mean KNOWING without a doubt that this was her designed plan, designed by Him who knows all and knows what is truly best. And I have peace KNOWING that she is with Heavenly Father and she is happy. And I have peace KNOWING that we WILL be together again, all of us, living in our Heavenly Home with our Heavenly Father, and all of our dear loved ones who have left this mortal life and enjoy Eternal Life as an Eternal Family.

But I am human. So I still feel the pain of loss. I will still feel sad. I will still weep. My heart will still ache. But the peace is still there.
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6 comments:

  1. CamiJanuary 3, 2011 at 3:23 AM

    Oh Kat, I am so sorry. What a sweet angel you are gifted to have for eternity.
    Thank you for sharing your experience, your strength, your testimony and your knowledge.
    Our prayers are with you and your family.

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  2. SheriJanuary 3, 2011 at 6:48 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss, and for the pain you're experiencing. There's no words that can make it go away, only time can do that. Sending you a big hug!

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  3. JenniferJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Luisa. There are no words of comfort that I can even begin to offer. Just please know that you are in my prayers as well as your family! Sweet Luisa no longer needs my prayers, for she is now perfect and whole! God bless you sweet mama! Sending love, hugs, and many, many prayers.

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  4. UnknownJanuary 3, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    So very sorry for your loss.
    Lifting you up in prayer!
    Praying that God's peace continues to surround you in the hours, days, weeks, months and years to come...

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  5. Connie JJanuary 7, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    I wat to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. I have gone through 4 miscarriages and I know I little bit about the pain and loss you are feeling. I am glad you at least had the chance to hold her and give her a name. My heart is breaking for you and Brent...

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  6. CaraJanuary 7, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    i dont know what words can express what i am feeling for you and brent. Kat I have never met you but i know you are a very beautiful and special woman to be married to brent. You both have a beautiful family and I know she is with those that have passed before us. I am so grateful for the church and the knowledge we have. I dont go to church right now but I KNOW she is in a special place being watched over. Again I am soooooo sorry for your loss and wish there was more I could do to help you and your family.
    Cara

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